The daily smile goes to the movie Amadeus today. In confession, I watched it about a week ago. I took my time with this post, partly due to procrastination and partly because I wanted to write more than a single paragraph review post. You see, I think I watched this film at exactly the right moment – even though it was created 4 years before I was born. It centers around the topic of jealousy, which I have been researching lately.
I recently read a few articles (see sources) regarding the so-called jealousy effect of social networking, especially Facebook. In particular, this line stood out to me:
After all, it’s human nature to compare ourselves with others. But experts say it’s Facebook’s in-your-face updates that can provoke depression, anxiety and envy. And it’s hitting teens and adults alike.1
Is that our nature? I suppose, especially at the often delicate time for people’s self-esteem that centers around New Year’s resolutions. Maybe in small doses, jealousy even encourages some people to do better. Imagine for instance that you see photos from your friend’s vacation in Bermuda, where you have wanted to travel your entire life. It may irk you a little, but it could inspire you to finally make time for that trip instead of sitting back and seething at your friend.
But taken to the extreme, as in the case of Amadeus, envy can indeed stir up some internal ugliness. The movie provides a good check-yourself moment. Saliere cannot maintain his admiration for Mozart without bitterness. The entire, beautiful movie centers on his incapacity to be happy for another whom he deems undeserving. The acting is incredible, too.
Anyway, we can’t blame Facebook for jealousy. Sure, the social networking experience may magnify those emotions, especially as we now know that people tend to portray their lives through rose-tinted pixels online. But the feelings ultimately stem from our own tendency to compare and the resulting insecurities. If you log onto Facebook and find yourself stewing in resentment, perhaps some self-work is needed. I recommend watching Amadeus and then perhaps, to use the old cliché, counting your own blessings. We can and should be better than such base vices as envy. I leave you with some words from others about the matter.
It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.
-Aeschylus
Envy comes from people’s ignorance of, or lack of belief in, their own gifts.
-Jean Vanier
Above all, you must fight conceit, envy, and every kind of ill-feeling in your heart.
-Abraham Cahan
Sources:
It is in the character of very few men to honor without envy a friend who has prospered.
-Aeschylus
I agree with this wholly. In the past few years, I’ve been going through one aha moment after the next regarding friendships I’ve held and Amadeus is one of the few films that addresses the very human emotion of jealousy when it goes wrong. So, we have very little narrative about it.
Well, I have a very, very, close friend (2 others I have distanced) is is always around when I’m down, searches eagerly for my mishaps, but when I have a triumph…of any kind is mum. I’ve been studying this. Someone I was close with like a sister for years. Never noticed it, until about 2 years ago. An icky trait, we all have to be careful not to be and be on the watch for.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen this movie, but I remember enjoying it and thinking about it for a long time after. I haven’t been on facebook for very long, so I haven’t seen jealousy there, but I see it here at WP from the people who are envious of those who are Freshly Pressed, or who are jealous of the stats/following of others. I like that you mentioned the rose-tinted pixels. I made a conscious decision to keep my blog upbeat and positive. I’ve opted to present the rosier side of my life rather than the stresses and unpleasant things that come our way from time to time. I could change one day, but for now, I’ll continue to be happy and present the rosy side.
What a great perspective! I love this, and yes, we do have to look at ourselves when the green monster makes an appearance. At least I know I do! I like the phrase, rose-tinted pixels! Well done and gives us something to think about as we head into new year!
I don’t follow Facebook, but human nature being what it is, envy can rear its head wherever people gather. Envy is corrosive stuff. I like your positive outlook.
Yes, I believe you’re right – any communicative channel can play host to envy. We are responsible for identifying it for what it is and saying, “No way. That’s not who I am.” Thank you! I have been working hard for my positive outlook – the purpose of this blog, really. It’s working! There are some incredible, kind, and supportive people. I find my WordPress experience to be a perfect foil to what I’ve written about in this post.